also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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