Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
