I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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