I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
