We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
We don't watch enough power rangers
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
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