Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
