dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
