love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Randomize
