Dual....:-)
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
its not stalking. its research.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
