Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
