Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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