I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
