Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
