is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
