So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
