i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
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