FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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