My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Randomize
