I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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