I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
