we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
