a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Randomize
