.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
