If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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