I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
