I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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