well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
