I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
