i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
