The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
