Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
