I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
