whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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