i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
