everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
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