I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Randomize
