there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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