he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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