I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
