just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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