yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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