You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
