is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
