its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
