And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
