We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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