i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
