New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
