People in love make me want to vomit
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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