I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
